When Retiring or Transitoning In Your Life, Push yourself to Say the Long Goodbye

Today is my last scheduled day of employment.  My head is full of thoughts about my decision to join Erica and the kids full time on an incredible journey together for the coming year.  Today is the last day of many days of the long goodbye that I have been on at work.  I'll start by saying I am ready to be done with goodbye's and on to focus on saying hello to what life is going to be for me everyday.  For now though, I am extremely grateful for chosing the long goodbye! I chose to do it that way because I knew that I needed to thank a lot of people for what they have given to me over my last 5 years here at the bank.  It has helped the transition tremendously to hear people share their feelings and stories about me and how I have impacted their life.  It has also given me a chance to tell so many people my story and how they have made an imprint on my life.  The long goodbye, while sad at times is important to do versus the short goodbye.  Closure becomes more complete when you give yourself the gift of the long goodbye. 

Today my plate is full with helping Erica get the last of her furniture out of her office (Her final day of work was yesterday), celebrating Boyd and Blythe's birthday with all of their friends after school at the park and visiting both of my teams at work to give final hugs and thank you's.  I now know what waking up to someone's final day at work looks and feels like and it isn't what I had envisioned it to be years ago when I naively made my plans to retire young.  I didn't think it would be such a process and anxiety ridden experience.  It really is hard!  I have slept maybe 5 hours on average for the last week.  I wake up when the birds start chirping and the sun rises with my head full of a list of to-do's that are met with fearful thoughts sprinkled in to complicate things.  My to-do list is getting much shorter...what am I going to do with my self and all the time I will have?  I am determined to meet today like I have everyday during this long goodbye with my eyes open to learning how to be present in each moment and accept whatever happens in my day.  When you retire all of a sudden your planning horizon becomes very short. I am amazed at how complex I have made my life. Why??? (I look forward to exploring this)  I am convinced now more than ever that retirement is possible to do mid-life and should be done more in mid-life to teach us the lessons of the long goodbye.  

These lessons are:

1.) Your identity is not your job or career. It is uniquely how you will be remembered.

2.) You are loved and appreciated more than you realize.

3.) You are irreplaceable despite the fact that you will be physically replaced.

4.) You need time to genuinely express your gratitude!

I am optimistic right now and tell myself over and over that I am making the right choice when I worry. I feel more comfortable in my heart and mind today than I did yesterday.  I will cherish my relationships and all the wonderful people who continue to live on in me.  

Today is my final goodbye to work as I know it.  There will be people and things I will leave behind never to see or do again.  To that, I say goodbye. Most of the people and things I have in my life,  I will say hello to again in days to come.  For those, the goodbye is a temporary thing. I feel those hello's and many new hello's getting closer!