Still Looking For That Reason To Come Back
On this adventure we set out with the goal of discovering new places for us to settle down for our next phase of life. Every destination that we wound up visiting would hopefully inspire in us a sense of belonging. Either we would be passing through and enjoying the view, only to belong for a short time or we would be making plans to eventually return to that glorious place to settle roots and belong for the indefinite. We had the highest standard set by the town and community we were leaving in San Diego. We loved San Diego and we knew that we were potentially going to never return. We were sad about that. The kids loved their school, friends and activities so much. They still love and cherish their life in San Diego. The wanderlust was just too strong.
We have toured countless towns and cities in the thirty-one US states, seven provinces of Canada, the Bahamas, three provinces in Costa Rica and now the city of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. We have been on the hunt for that most enchanting place to call home. Everyone is guilty of wanderlust on some small level when they travel to new destinations, but we have been on a calculated mission to prove to ourselves first-hand that we are where we are meant to be in this life. Every place that we have pulled into held something special for us to remember it. Every place had far more positives to reflect on than it had negatives. This is confirming that our time on the road has been well worth it. As I write this here is Rio, for the first time in the last nine months I am not feeling the same way about our experience. It has caused me to wonder what it is about Rio de Janeiro, Brazil that is different or am I just losing the wanderlust after only nine months of endulgement.
I have always struggled to suppress my wanderlust and Erica has been the perfect enabler for me to continue to indulge in it...but we both feel unsettled and disconnected here. Having her feeling some of these same feelings also validates for me that something outside of us could be affecting our experiences. Coincidentally, it has also been probably the toughest month emotionally for all four of us. We have officially come down from the high that we were feeling as we sadly left Costa Rica and then made the most of our two weeks in the Miami area.
Maybe the first sign that we were not meant for Brazil was the fact that we were unprepared from the start by missing our need for visa's to enter the country in our preparations. Maybe a country that has barriers is not meant for those whom it seeks to protect itself from. Should we now always question why we would want to travel to a country that requires visa's just to visit as a tourist?
The second sign was underestimating the language barrier. I am guessing wildly here, but ninety-nine percent of the people we have interacted with know as much English as I know of Portuguese...zero. This isn't their fault, nor mine, but is a consideration that must be scrutinized a little more heavily than we did prior to the visit.
The third sign was how uncomfortable we have felt, unsafe at times, observing the people and places around the tourist attractions are in need of major focus from the local, state and federal government. Our guard has been up from day one and the stress is wearing on us. Our community that we are staying in is heavily guarded and very safe, but we have witnessed the people who are servicing tourists at major attractions become very intense and competitive and in some circumstances even become lawless to the point where local police have had to intervene. If the stress we feel as visitors is so high, the stress you see on the workers as they hustle tirelessly must be even more so. The parks, museums, monuments and their surrounding areas are in need of a deep cleanse which includes making sure that security is present at these places holding accountable the local disruptors. There seems to not be enough resources allocated by the government to make sure that tourism, a country's greatest export to attract people and resources to it's shores, becomes stronger and more beneficial to the local businesses and the people who run these businesses. Dysfunction always starts from the top down and with tourism, the government is in control at the top. The fact that four previous governors of the state of Rio de Janeiro are currently serving time in prison speak volumes to the level of impact financial crimes in their history have played into the desperate place that they currently find their economy in. A few local people that I have been able to converse with about the state of the economy all tell the same story about how Rio and much of the rest of Brazil continue to suffer financially due to poor fiscal management and corruption. One went as far to say the real problems come from the disparity between the wealth of the people in positions of power and the majority of the voters who put them there being poor and iliterate. The middle class is such a very small portion of the population in Brazil. I see this play out as we drive by the beaches in Rio, the wealthy communities of Copacabana to the East to Barra de Tijuca in the West, where scattered in between million dollar homes that overlook the ocean you find favela's which also sit on the mountainside overlooking the same beautiful coast.
It has become pretty clear that Brazil is a place that will leave us wanting more. I want more for different reasons, not for the usual feelings I have when I visit places. You won't hear me say that I could ever live here and you also won't hear me say that it is a place where I would raise a family. I hope that in the near future things will improve here so that the next time we return we will feel differently about this naturally beautiful country. Despite all these bad feelings we continue to learn about new places and we have now been exposed to a dramatically different way of life, one that will shape our perspective and appreciation for the life we have in San Diego. We have five more days here to find that reason to come back to Brazil. I hope we find it as we begin to look for it more in exploring more natural settings, experiences that we have not yet felt safe to journey out to explore here. One thing is for sure, there is not a more beautiful city out there from a natural landscape perspective. We just need to tap into it.
Peace and Love